Life

I've decided that I'm not ready to date yet.

For one thing, it causes way too much drama with my family that I just don't have the energy - emotionally or physically - to deal with right now. But that's not the main reason, not at all.

I think I'm just not ready, period. Yes, I miss the intimacy, both sexual and emotional. But that's not enough, I think, to start dating. I was with my stupid ex for almost three years and I've only been single for seven months. While in context that seems like a good amount of time, relatively I don't think it is. I think I'm still too emotionally clingy and - dare I say - vulnerable. What could be a fling for someone else and for me could turn into something more on my end, simply because of that attachment. I do want the intimacy and being with someone, all that stuff.

Which is exactly why I don't think I should date. Desperate, I am not. I know that. However, I do think I'm still at the stage where I could fall for the first guy to show me 'love' and I don't want to go through that again. I'm 21 years old, single and starting my life anew this fall. I've grown up over the summer, lost a lot of weight, made drastic changes in my life - I want to enjoy it.

Plain and simple: I don't think I want to be tied down in any way, shape or form just yet. I want to enjoy what I've got right now and roll with what life throws at me.