What an insane month April has been.
My mom passed away on April 22, Good Friday, at 4:40 am. It was bittersweet, since she was suffering so much it was a relief for her to be at rest. And at the same time, it's my mommy and I'm really lost without her. A piece of my heart is gone and will never be filled.
I was married to my soulmate on April 25, also my late uncle's birthday. I'm moving into an apartment with him on the 20th of this month. It's ten minutes from Fort Bragg, where he's stationed as a mechanic in the Army, which is wonderful. It's exciting and frightening to be moving out, away from my dad and brother. We're only five hours away, which means they can visit a lot and vice versa. We even got a two-bedroom apartment so they can stay with us and visit. We're an hour from the beach, which is great for my dad.
My mom's viewing was on April 26. My dad's sister and mom came down, as well as his cousin, her husband and their daughter. I haven't seen any of them in years and it was a strange reunion. My best friend Anne came back from Seattle the week before, so she was here for my wedding and everything else that happened, which I'm so grateful for.
My mom's funeral was on April 27. I made it through okay, until they wheeled the casket out of the church. Then I started crying.
I don't think anything has really hit me yet. Everything has happened so fast I haven't had time to really sit and absorb any of it. I have my ups and downs - some moments I'm so happy and in love and excited about the future, and other moments I just want to cry and curl up under a rock. I can't decide and I'm not going to try. It's a natural part of everything, grieving and a major life change. My husband is a wonderful man whom I'm proud and lucky to be his wife and he's so patient with me when I need to cry or get moody.
Everything is a roller coaster. I think once I'm moved and I settle in and don't have anything else to focus on, then I'll hit the proverbial wall. Until then, I'm mostly running on nerves and adrenaline and god only knows what else some days.
Soaring
- Uzume of Flight
- My pseudonym will be Hawk for the interests of this blog. I'm 22 years old and married to an Army mechanic, one of my best friends. Have a kitty, Tempest, a Siamese/Calico mix. Living off-post and currently job hunting. I'm on the short side, 5'3", and my green eyes and reddish hair are a throwback to my Irish history. My parents and brother are blond and blue-eyed, so they like to say I'm adopted. I have my suspicions. I am also a True Blood and Hugh Jackman fangirl, although those two things are as unrelated to one another as you can possibly get. Except if you count Van Helsing.